Who am I?

I just watched the most recent Frontline called the Persuaders and it was a pretty good show. It was pretty much an extension to another Frontline, one of my favorites, called the Merchants of Cool. I get really pissed off about advertising. I hate commericals, except sometimes when they are so good that I actually go and seek them out. I love my TiVo (Yes, I know that this is ironic. I used the word love to describe a brand in an essay about how much I hate that shit). I was at the movie theater the other day and there were like ten minutes worth of commercials before the trailers started. Real commercials for boring products like shampoo. I was pissed off. I paid ten dollars for that? I get mad when I hear about another stadium getting a name change to a corporate brand.

But I know I'm not smart enough or tough enough to combat the ads. I made a comment a couple of years ago during lunch with my friends and people looked at me like I was insane. I told them that even though I don't like to admit it I bought my car in part because of what I thought people would think of me driving it. My friends were apalled. How could I be shallow. I think I was just being honest and I think they were being dishonest by saying they didn't think that way. I had decided to by a Jetta before moving to Seattle because I needed a new car (my '86 Monte Carlo SS was falling apart) and I had a new job so what the hell. I wanted to make a certain impression on the people of Seattle. If I made the wrong impression then I would end up hanging out with people I didn't like. I had to be smart about this. I thought the Jetta portrayed a young and smart college educated person who was worldly enough to have a european car and my choice of NWA and Outkast in the CD player made me a little cooler. Don't laugh. I may not have thought those thoughts on the surface but they were certainly there. People who say they buy stuff without thinking about this stuff even at the subconcious level are either liers or unwilling to look at themselves for who they really are. I was also looking at other cars, like the Kia Sofia which was like only $8,000 which would have giving off the vibe that I thought that I was cool enough to have a shitty car and that I wanted to spend my money on better things. I also looked at the BMW 325 which would have definitely shown people that I had a good job but I was also worried that people might think I'm a jackass.

The brand of Beer people drink is also something I think at least some people choose because of what other people think of them. Of course, I don't think I'm like that. :-) PBR. I'm convinced that most people who are in my demographic and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon do it because it they want to portray the image of someone who may have money but is down to earth to drink real beer. Just like the common folk.

Identifying a brand with a subculture is exactly what marketers do. Jettas are marketed to young college graduates. You can find the marketing categories you most likely fall into my typing in your zip code on this site. I live in the zip code 98119 so me and my neighbors are either American Dreams, Bohemian Mix, Money & Brains, Urban Achievers, and Young Digerati. I think that's pretty acurate of my neighborhood. It's kinda scary.

Ok, now you can make fun of me.

I'm an idiot

You probably already know this but I'm an idiot. I don't think I have any common sense. Laurel and I had dinner at a friend's house in Snoqualmie, out in the country, and on the way there my gas light went on. I'm used to that light appearing (and also hearing that beep that sounds so much like my pager) and it usually means that I can still go to and from work at least one more time. So, I was thinking that I would pull off the highway and get gas only if I saw a quick and easy place to get it. That didn't appear on the way there, neither did it on the way back. As I'm travelling down I-90 I can see the gas gauge go where I've never seen it go before and I was getting worried but not panicing yet because the second beep beep hadn't happened yet. As I turn onto I-5 I feel the car jerk a little bit and some of the power goes away, so I'm like "Oh shit, I should probably turn off at the James St. exit and get gas there". I'm in the lane for the exit, right above Jackson St. and I car's engine just stops. I'm able to pull in even closer and turn on my blinkers. I don't have my cell phone because it's Saturday night and I don't want people from work getting ahold of me. The whole reason I bought a cell phone in the first place was to have it for situations like this. Laurel doesn't have her cell phone either. Fuck. I get out of the car and Laurel stays behind.

Now, I'm actually on a viaduct so I have to walk on the tiny curb of the freeway until I get to land where I (in perfect Guido smartness) decide that it will be safer to walk around the grassy areas off the highway. Now, these are the same grassy areas that some of us from work have been known to use as shortcuts and see people smoking crack during the day. So I start up the hill and I see someone smoking crack who looks at me like I don't belong there. Maybe it was the Banana Republic cashmere turtleneck sweater that gave it away. So, I turn around and make my way down the grassy hill and the dude says something to me which I can't make out but it's probably something like "Be carefull of the thorn bushes and there's a fence down there" because I slip several times down the hill on the slightly wet leaves of the thorn plants and catch my self from slipping further by using the friction of my sensitive skin and the thorns as they make their way deep into my hand. A few cuts and scrapes aren't gonna stop me. I'm on a mission.

So, at the bottom of the hill there are a few fences. One with very pointy wires on the top and one with not as pointy, but still pointy wires at the top. I try to climb the better one but I can't get my shoes through the holes. It's as if they designed the fence to keep people from getting by it, hmmm.... So, use my weight to bend the fence down as much as possible and then I throw myself over it. Ouch. I don't think it was made for people to climb over it.

So, I'm now walking down Jackson St. with cuts and bruises and at least a few thorns still in my hand and I decide to walk to work, it's only 4 blocks away. So, I'm in a hurry and my arms are wailing along and some drunk people mock me. Not a good start to my adventure. So, I finally get to work and convince the security guard that I am an Amazon.com employee and that I need to use his phone to call AAA. So I first try 1-800-CALL-AAA, seems reasonable right? It's a busy signal. How can AAA have a busy signal. So I find AAA in the phone book but it's only the local number, which I try and nobody answers. Unfortunately my AAA card is in the car because I like having a thin wallet and that extra card is just way too much to carry around all the time. So, screw that. So I think to myself that I should just goto James St. gas station and buy a can of gas. So I make my way up 5th Ave. to James and then up that fucking huge hill praying to the god that I don't believe in for the gas station to sell gas cans. I get there and they do. So I buy the can and a gallon of gas for about $6 and start my trek back to the car.

On my way back to the car I get a few honks, probably by drunk people making fun of my stupidity. It turns out to still be quite a hike down the highway to the car. I get to the car and see Laurel who is worry and I don't say much because I just want to get the gas in the tank and the car started so we can get the fuck out of dodge. So, the stupid gas can has a nozzle that doesn't fit very well and I end up pouring about half of the gas down the side of the car. Oh well, let's see what happens. I try starting the car and I get about 5 feet before it stalls again, this time the car is further out on the lane. Fuck. I ask her for her AAA Card but she doesn't have it because she doesn't have her wallet with her, she must have left it at home. Laurel begins to tear up a little. I find my card. We get out the car and walk back down the freeway to the gas station, this time with the AAA Card. Fuck. 1-800-AAA-HELP. Fuck. Goto the phone call them, they're on their way, get back to the car, wait about ten minutes, cop comes by says we'll get killed if we stay there so we get in the car, put it in neutral and he pushes us down the highway to James St. The AAA dude was right behind him. I hand the AAA dude $5 and he puts a couple of gallons of gas in the tank and we're off. Five bucks. That's it. That's all it would have cost me if I had had my cell phone in the car.

The world is scary

I live a pretty good life. I get pissed off about bad things going on in the rest of the world but it usually seems so distant. At an intellectual level I see that it's bad but I don't get emotionally involved. A bunch of people get blown up in a cafe in Israel. Oh well, it sucks, but shit happens. Peasants in North Korea can barely get enough food to eat. Oh well, it sucks, but shit happens.

But every now and then I really feel something. It usually happens when I forget to turn the radio off at night and the BBC World Service gets beamed directly into my dreams. A couple of months ago I really felt the Beslan siege. Holy shit I felt it. I remember being a sleep and every now and then barely coming into consciousness and hearing about hundreds of children being killed and hearing mothers scream with grief. It hurts. It hurts so much to hear that. I can't imagine going through that.

Last night I really felt the fighting in Falluja. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in a city with a war going on around me. Most of the people there want both of the belligerents to get the fuck out of their city. People there are starving and until a few hours ago had no hope of getting aid. I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like if there was a war going on here in Seattle and I had to deal with that kind of stuff. It kinda makes me want to stock up on canned goods the next time I goto the grocery store.

It's time to build

I've started to become less pissed off about the election. I'm still pissed off but I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't let those people out there ruin our lives. The most recent copy of The Stranger has an article called The Urban Archipelago that states this idea perfect. So, fuck 'em, we don't need them. We'll still have to pay for their wars and we're going to be the target of the terrorism caused by their wars. But we have the money. We should start doing everything possible to reduce the taxes we pay to the federal government and raise the state and local taxes in our cities and states. Let's make our lives better and theirs worse. Without all of the money that those of us in the Blue States send to the Red States they will live even worse lives. And they can get stupider if they want by lowering schooling standards. We can show them that we're right by making our cities even better. Let's create a virtual country with the rest of the blue cities and/or blue states. We should seriously think about creating a coalition between certain cities and do things at the same time. If we want to make gay marriage legal we should all do it at the same time. If we want to raise wellfare benefits and help out the disadvantaged we should do it at the same time. Lets scrap the federal wellfare system. Let the poor people in red counties suffer. Let's make the public schools in the blue counties the best in the world. Let's build more universities here too. Let's create connections between our virtual country and the EU and the rest of the world. Maybe the terrorists will learn that they really should be attacking the Red States and not us.

And as for the Democratic Party I don't think we should try to pick up those fucking retarded people's votes. I was one of those people who thought that we could win the presidency by giving up our moral values until we have enough votes but I don't believe that anymore. This country as a whole is just too fucking conservative. We give up to much by moving to the right. I don't think it's realistic to win that way anymore and still be true to our beliefs. I think we're too scared about things like Roe vs. Wade being overturned and a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. We shouldn't be. If it does happen then it's just going to cause a huge backlash in our favor. Do you really think that if Roe vs. Wade gets overturned there won't be millions of women in the streets demanding Bush's head? Roe vs. Wade will not be overturned without a least a small civil war. If Bush bans gay marriage then we'll just make laws to make it legal in our states or cities. What's Bush gonna do?

I realize that some of the stuff that I'm advocating isn't realistic. But I think we should at least try to build a better world for outselves to the exclusion of the people in conservative places. Building ties between Seattle, L.A., San Francisco, Portland, Chicago, N.Y. and Boston could be a good first step in making a stand for our values.

More maps

Here are some more maps.

I'm stunned

I'm stunned. It's been 4 days since the election and I'm only writing about it now. I don't know what to say. How did this happen? Are the American people really like this? Have I been living in a fantasy world? I always assumed that it was obvious that Bush was a fuck up. He didn't win in 2000, not the popular vote and not Florida. I'm not going to complain about it because that's was two elections ago, but how can so many more people be in favor of Bush now than before. Before, he was unknown. I was pissed off about the 2000 election but I was willing to give Bush a chance since he didn't have a mandate and obviously couldn't be as right wing as he turned out to be. This country isn't what I thought it was. I guess we really do hate homosexuals. And poor people. And arabs. And other foreigners. And we think it's perfectly fine to kill a hundred thousand people as long as they're not christians.

This is depressing. What do we do? Can we change these people's minds or do we have to change our beliefs so we can get into power? I can't imagine that it's possible to change the minds of those crazy red-state people. They're uneducated yokels. I always thought that our country would get better when the racist old people would start dying off but I think maybe they're passed on their hate to their children. A lot more young people voted for Bush then I would have ever thought possible. How can we change our party to be more acceptable to the uneducated rednecks? The Republican elite have done a great job conning the poor people into believing that they are better off with them than the Democrats. When did the Republican party become the party of the disenfranchised? So, do we have to lie to the uneducated yokels too? Do we have to play the same dirty tricks that the Republicans do? We're the morally superior party. Are we better off or worse off if we play dirty like them so we can help more people? What we really need is a facade of redneckness and retardedness. We should stop using any words longer than 3 syllables and we should talk about the world in terms of black and white and good and evil and us and them. Would we be able to sleep at night if we did this?

I'm pissed.

Our new country

I've been talking about this all day and somebody on Craigslist posted a picture of it. So I guess other people have the same idea I have. Let's do a little bit of shuffling. Think about it, we'll have all of the economic and intellectual capital. They'll have a much bigger army so we'll need to do something to defend ourselves. And of course we won't be able to feed ourselves, but I'm sure we could make some great deals with Asia for that. I was actually thinking that we should go ahead and take Alaska and the rest of the East Coast too. We'll still have a majority but we'll also be able to blockade Jesusland in the Gulf of Mexico if they tried to invade us. But for now Canada isn't letting us in.